because i don't care if it's wrong, or if it's right
there is so much that i want to say, so calm down calm down breathe in breathe out.
this is a much needed entry. not saying that i have absolutely no one to talk to, but... anyway.
i really do not want or mean to sound like a bitch, but really.. if i wanna be bitchy, it's my god foresaken right.
so, yeah. I don't even know where to start, but this is gonna be one of those "starts as a list but just turns into blots and spots"
I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to make new friends. Really, and honestly, school couldn't start fast enough. i mean, come one it's JCC. I don't expect to meet (i just typed meat lol but i changed it, obviously) the man of my dreams, or anyone spectacular, but it would be nice to branch out. At least meet a few people who like to party. Or have minds of their own. People [friends!] who will answer my calls or texts, at least, and care about being MY friend as much as I care about being THEIR friend. i just rolled my eyes!
I really, also, cannot wait to get a new job. and make some friends there too. I mean i am TWENTY! really, i can't waste (i just typed waist! dang! lol) my time waiting for my friends to call me back. i wanna be called, and invited places.
and secondly, or third.. I love love love love love <3 <3 <3 kelly. i SERIOUSLY would be dead wiffout her! We have spent so much time together this summer. i love her. and if you think she is my best friend, then YOU ARE RIGHT. honey =P
i was thinking about dating, not thinking about "going on dates" but how so very awkward it'll be, when it comes that time, for me. awkward moments are just an everyday thang. i don't know. maybe not. but i could just picture like, a nice young gentleman takes me out for a nice dinner and like a song comes on or something and i turn into "Dangerous Emily" and start like singing and stuff. idk. it makes me laugh out loud. so maybe the right man is someone who would burst into song right along with me! hahah
I'm one of those people, y'know, whose phillosophy is something like "bitch, if you ignore me when i'm trying to hang out, then next time i just 'won't hear MY phone ring' when you wanna hang out" in alllllllll seriousness, i mean that. like the most annoying thing is when you call up someone and ask if they wanna hang out, and theyare like "idk... no." and then the next day they call you after blowing you off for the dumbest thing and ask if you wanna do something. ok. i'm not good enough for you, boohoo.
man. i gotta calm down. i'm starting to sound ultra bitchy.
but i don't like being "on the back-burner"
i'm not saying everyone needs to feed me attention all the time, but damn. i always get second best. here, lately anyway.
i don't know what else to say.
the weather is beautiful and hooooooooooott!
and i have a nice tan.
life is beautiful.
everyone has something to get off their chest every now and then.
i have a belly full of ribs and coconut ice cream and i feel like i'll pass out at any minute.
my back hurts =/
i'm listing, ahhhh
I'M TIRED OF THE SAME THING, SAME PEOPLE, SAME PLACES.
i am craving adventure and fresh faces and a definite change of pace. and hopefully i will pick up my feet soon. i mean, within DAYS. i am excited for my future.
i have my anchor up, and i'm not gonna just drop it on the first person i see. i wanna explore, and meet people and hang out and have some fuuun! i will not settle in shelbyville. i will not settle anywhere. i have dreams about what i wanna do with my life, and that does NOT include wasting away in this bum-ass town feeding off people, bouncing from boy to boy, friend to friend, drug to drug. i wanna see the world. the only way to accomplish it is to get out, and start living and making money. NO ONE is going to hand you a round trip ticket to the Rest of the World and back. you have to work for it.
i just gotta tell myself that.
i didn't get everything handed to me growing up. and i know how to be responsible and take care of myself i just need a push sometimes. i am thankful for that, y'know? The people who get everything they want, all the time, the people who rely on others to take care of them, they have no real drive. they say they want to do this want to do that. Bitch you gotta work for it.
you have to think more realistically.
damn, i sound like my momma. but i'm not trying to be yours.
i said i wanted to be your friend, not your hoe.